Self-Sabotage: Why We Do It and How to Break the Cycle

It’s a frustrating cycle. You start to feel more in control, maybe even confident… then something shifts. You avoid the gym, binge-watch TV instead of going for a walk, or eat the very things you’d promised yourself you wouldn’t.

This isn’t about lack of motivation. It’s often self-sabotage. And it's more common than you might think—especially when you're working on personal change like weight loss, emotional eating, or building confidence.

At Phoenix Hypnotherapy in Cheltenham, I see this pattern regularly in women over 40 who feel stuck between what they want and what keeps getting in the way.

What Is Self-Sabotage?

Self-sabotage is when your behaviour quietly blocks the very goals you say you want.

You might be aiming for healthier habits, a calmer mind, or more self-belief. But then—without warning—you start sliding backwards. Not because you're not trying hard enough, but because part of you doesn’t fully trust the change.

This isn’t failure. It’s protection. It’s your subconscious mind doing what it’s learned to do—keep you safe by keeping you in the familiar.

How Self-Sabotage Shows Up

It doesn’t always look dramatic. Sometimes it’s subtle, like:

• Putting off starting something “until Monday”
• Saying yes when you wanted to say no
• Giving up when things are going well
• Distracting yourself with food, tech, or busyness
• Going quiet when you feel seen or noticed

These behaviours are often linked to deeper patterns—old beliefs, past experiences, or emotional habits that no longer serve you.

Whether you're in Cheltenham, Bishops Cleeve, Cirencester, or surrounding areas, these patterns are common among people looking for meaningful, long-term change—not quick fixes.

Why We Do It

Self-sabotage often comes from a mismatch between conscious goals and subconscious beliefs.

You might want to lose weight, feel more confident, or finally stop emotional eating. But if your deeper mind still associates that change with risk, exposure, or loss of identity, it’ll quietly push back.

That’s why willpower alone isn’t enough. Real change starts by working with—not against—your subconscious or unconscious patterns.

A Practical First Step

One small way to start shifting self-sabotage is with awareness. Next time you catch yourself about to slip into an old habit, pause and say:

“This is just an old pattern. I see it—and I’m choosing something different now.”

Even a short pause like that can help interrupt the cycle.

At Phoenix Hypnotherapy, this is the kind of approach we take: practical, grounded, and focused on real change—not surface-level fixes.

How Hypnotherapy Can Help

Hypnotherapy works by gently rewiring those internal patterns—at the level they actually live. It allows you to update your emotional and behavioural responses, without needing to relive difficult memories.

Whether you're struggling with overeating, low confidence, or inconsistent motivation, the aim isn’t perfection—it’s freedom from the old script.

I offer sessions both online and in-person from Cheltenham, with clients regularly visiting from areas like Tewkesbury, Winchcombe, Cirencester, and across the Cotswolds and beyond.

Ready to Do Things Differently?

If you're tired of the cycle and ready to explore a more supportive way to change, I’m here to help.

The first step is often just having a conversation.

You’re welcome to get in touch or book a free, no-obligation consultation to find out more.

Reach me here to book in your free consultation. 

Posted 7th April 2025