Why Confidence Changes in Midlife

The Confidence Dip After 40: Understanding and Reconnecting

As we journey through life, certain milestones bring undeniable shifts—not just in the way we live, but in how we feel about ourselves. For many, turning 40 marks a subtle yet significant change in confidence. It’s not always loud or obvious, but it shows up in small ways: doubting decisions, questioning worth, or feeling like you’ve lost your edge.

This is a shared experience for many men and women. And more importantly, it doesnt have to be permanent.

Let’s explore what’s happening beneath the surface.

Why Confidence Changes in Midlife

Life in your 40s and beyond often comes with a mix of transitions—career changes, shifting family dynamics, and evolving relationships. These changes can leave us reassessing our place in the world.

Biologically, we’re also navigating changes. Hormonal shifts like menopause, perimenopause, or even subtle declines in testosterone can affect mood and self-perception. On top of this, societal expectations can amplify self-doubt, with external pressures whispering (or shouting) that we’re “too old,” “not enough,” or “falling behind.”

But there’s another layer: the unconscious or subconscious mind. 

Over the years, we absorb beliefs about ourselves—some empowering, others quietly limiting. 

Beliefs like, “I should be more successful by now” or “I’m not as capable as I used to be” can resurface when life feels uncertain, shaping how we see ourselves in ways we may not even realise.

Here’s the truth: beliefs are not facts. They’re patterns within the unconscious mind—and patterns can change.

Reconnecting With Your Confident Self

Confidence isn’t something you’ve lost. 

It hasn’t disappeared. It’s still there, a quiet part of you, waiting for attention. By consciously shifting your focus, you can access that part of yourself again.

Here’s a simple way to start:

1. Pause and Breathe: Find a quiet moment. Sit comfortably and take a few deep breaths, allowing yourself to relax.
2. Visualise Your Confident Self: Close your eyes and imagine yourself at your best or remember a time or memory when you were confident —calm, self-assured, and capable. Picture the details: how you stand, your expression, what you hear, and even the tone of your voice.
3. Anchor the Feeling: While holding this image in your mind, press your thumb and forefinger together. Let that physical action become a cue for confidence—a signal you can use to call this feeling back when you need it.

Practice this daily. Even small moments of reconnecting with your confident self can create lasting shifts.

Permission to Be Enough

Confidence doesn’t mean being perfect. It’s about giving yourself permission—to be enough, just as you are. To trust in your abilities, even when the path ahead feels uncertain.

If you’ve been questioning yourself lately, know this: confidence is like a muscle. It can weaken under pressure, but it can also strengthen with care, intention, and practice.

Remember that calm, grounded, capable version of yourself? They’re still there. Maybe buried under life’s noise, but ready to emerge when you take the time to reconnect.

Take a moment today to breathe, reflect, and remind yourself: You are enough.

You can reach out to me here if you want to have an informal chat to find out more and what hypnotherapy can help you with,

Lesley Ford 

21st January 2025