The school holidays are supposed to be the time we all look forward to.

No more school runs. No packed lunches. No rushing out of the door because someone can't find their PE kit.

Family days out. Lie-ins. More time together.

At least, that's the expectation.

Yet, every summer, I speak to parents, grandparents and carers who quietly admit something that often comes wrapped in guilt.

"I thought I'd enjoy this more."

Instead of feeling relaxed, they feel overwhelmed.

Instead of feeling present, they feel stretched.

Instead of enjoying every moment, they find themselves counting down the days until September.

If that's you, I want to reassure you of one thing...

There is nothing wrong with you.

With over 20 years' experience as a therapist, and the last three years specialising in clinical hypnotherapy, I've learnt that our unconscious mind doesn't always respond to situations in the way we expect it to. 

Often, what we're experiencing isn't a personal failing at all, it's simply our mind trying to adapt to change.

The school holidays are a perfect example of this.

They're not just a change in the calendar.

They're a change in routine.

And for the unconscious mind, that matters far more than most people realise.

Why do the school holidays feel so stressful?

Most people assume the stress comes from having children at home all day.

Sometimes that's part of it.

But I don't think it's the whole story.

The real reason often sits beneath the surface.

The school holidays don't just change your diary

They change your unconscious mind.

Whether you're a parent juggling work and childcare, a grandparent helping during the holidays, or a carer supporting children through six weeks away from school, your daily rhythm suddenly changes.

The structure you've followed for months disappears almost overnight.

School runs stop.

Work has to fit around children instead of the other way round.

Mealtimes become less predictable.

Bedtimes often drift later.

Weekdays start to feel like weekends.

For some families, holiday clubs, family holidays or time with grandparents naturally create a new rhythm. For others, the six weeks can feel like one long stretch of trying to work out what comes next.

That uncertainty affects us more than we often realise.

Not because we're weak.

But because of the way the unconscious mind is designed to keep us safe.

Why does routine matter to the unconscious mind?

One of the things I explain regularly to clients is that the unconscious mind is constantly asking one simple question:

"Am I safe?"

One of the ways it answers that question is through predictability.

And one of the simplest ways we create predictability is through routine.

Lesley's Logic

The unconscious mind is always asking one question:

"Am I safe?"

Routine creates predictability.

Predictability creates certainty.

Certainty creates a feeling of safety.

When life changes, it's often the smallest routines that help the unconscious mind feel safe again.

When we know roughly what's happening next, the unconscious mind can relax.

During term time, life has a familiar rhythm.

The alarm goes off.

Breakfast.

School run.

Work.

Homework.

Tea.

Bedtime.

Even if it's busy, and let's be honest, family life often is, the unconscious mind recognises the pattern.

It doesn't have to keep scanning for what might happen next because it already has a pretty good idea.

That creates certainty.

And certainty creates a feeling of safety.

When the school holidays begin, that rhythm changes almost overnight.

The structure disappears.

Not forever.

Just long enough for the unconscious mind to wonder:

"What's happening now?"

That doesn't mean the holidays are bad.

It simply means the unconscious mind has temporarily lost one of its favourite ways of feeling secure.

And that's completely normal.

If you've ever wondered why your mind struggles to switch off, or why uncertainty can leave you feeling anxious, you might also enjoy reading my article, Why your mind cannot switch off, and what your unconscious mind is trying to tell you. It explores why trying harder to think your way out of anxiety often has the opposite effect, and how understanding your unconscious mind can help you feel calmer and more in control.

Why do children become more emotional during the school holidays?

Parents often tell me they feel as though their child becomes a completely different person during the summer holidays.

More emotional.

More argumentative.

More clingy.

More easily frustrated.

It's tempting to think they're simply pushing boundaries.

Sometimes they are.

But often, they're experiencing exactly the same thing as the adults around them.

Their routine has disappeared too.

Think about it from their perspective.

For almost a year they've known where they're going each weekday.

Who they'll see.

When they'll eat.

When they'll learn.

When they'll play.

When they'll come home.

Then suddenly...

School finishes.

Friends aren't there every day.

Teachers disappear until September.

Activities change.

Sleep routines drift.

Everything that felt familiar suddenly feels different.

Their unconscious mind is also looking for predictability again.

It's trying to work out what this new version of life looks like.

Children don't usually have the language to explain that.

Instead, they often communicate it through their behaviour.

That doesn't mean they're being naughty.

It doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong.

It means they're adapting.

And if you happen to feel a little less patient yourself, remember that your unconscious mind is adapting too.

Everyone in the family is learning a new rhythm at exactly the same time.

That's a lot for any household.

Understanding what's happening beneath the surface doesn't magically remove the challenges of the school holidays, ,but it can replace frustration with compassion. Sometimes, that change in perspective is where calmer days begin.

Why do parents lose their patience more during the school holidays?

If you've ever found yourself snapping over something that wouldn't normally bother you, you're not alone.

In fact, it's one of the most common things parents tell me during the summer holidays.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I seem to have no patience."

Usually, there's nothing wrong with them at all.

When your routine changes, your unconscious mind is already working harder than usual.

At the same time, you're making hundreds of additional decisions every day.

What are we doing today?

Who's looking after the children?

What time are we leaving?

What's for lunch?

Can I fit my work in?

Should we stay home or go out?

Do I spend money on another day trip?

By the end of the day, your brain hasn't just been physically busy.

It's been mentally busy too.

Psychologists often talk about "decision fatigue" that feeling of becoming mentally exhausted after making lots of decisions throughout the day. 

Add a disrupted routine, children whose emotions are also running a little higher, and perhaps the pressure of trying to make the holidays magical, and it's hardly surprising that patience can wear a little thin.

One of the things I've noticed over more than 20 years of working as a therapist is that parents are often much harder on themselves than anyone else.

They'll apologise for losing their patience.

They'll tell me they should be coping better.

They'll compare themselves to the smiling families they see on social media.

Yet what they rarely acknowledge is just how much they're carrying.

Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is stop asking, "Why am I not coping?" and start asking, "What does my mind need right now?"

Very often, the answer isn't perfection.

It's predictability.

Is it normal to feel guilty for not enjoying the school holidays?

Absolutely.

In fact, guilt is one of the biggest emotions I hear from parents during the summer.

You love your children.

You've been looking forward to spending more time together.

So why aren't you enjoying every minute?

Because real life doesn't look like the highlights we see online.

The school holidays can be joyful and exhausting.

You can be grateful for the extra time together, and still miss the structure that term time brings.

Those two feelings can exist at the same time.

The trouble is, many parents believe they shouldn't.

They tell themselves they ought to be making magical memories every single day.

That every day should be filled with adventures, crafts, picnics or expensive days out.

The reality is very different.

Children don't usually remember every activity.

They remember how they felt.

They remember laughing.

Feeling safe.

Feeling heard.

Sharing an ice cream on a park bench.

Helping bake a cake.

Watching a film together on a rainy afternoon.

Those quieter moments often become the memories that last.

So perhaps the pressure isn't to create a perfect summer.

Perhaps it's simply to create enough moments where everyone feels connected.

And that includes you.

Because if you're constantly running on empty, it's incredibly difficult to enjoy the moments you're working so hard to create.

Can a lack of routine make anxiety worse?

Yes, and there's a good reason why.

Anxiety often increases when the unconscious mind doesn't know what to expect next.

That doesn't mean routine cures anxiety.

Far from it.

But routine can provide an important sense of predictability.

When our daily rhythm changes, the unconscious mind naturally starts paying more attention.

It's trying to work out whether the change represents a problem or simply something new.

For many people, this heightened awareness shows up as feeling more overwhelmed, more irritable, sleeping less well, or struggling to switch off at the end of the day.

I've seen this with parents, carers, grandparents, teachers, university students during the holidays, and even people approaching retirement.

The circumstances are different.

The psychology is remarkably similar.

Routine changes.

Predictability changes.

The unconscious mind starts looking for certainty again.

That's why creating a gentle rhythm during the holidays isn't about becoming rigid.

It's about giving your mind enough familiarity that it no longer needs to stay on high alert.

If overthinking is something you struggle with, you may also enjoy reading Overthinking isn't the problem, it's the mind trying to help where I explain why the mind often becomes busier when it's trying to protect you.

How can I create routine without making the holidays feel like school?

The answer isn't to timetable every minute of every day.

Children need freedom.

They need opportunities to be bored, to play, to explore and to use their imagination.

But freedom and predictability don't have to compete with one another.

They can work together beautifully.

Perhaps breakfast happens at roughly the same time each morning.

Maybe everyone gets dressed before deciding what the day will bring.

Lunch becomes a natural pause in the middle of the day.

A quiet hour follows.

Bedtime keeps a familiar rhythm, even if it's a little later than during term time.

It doesn't need to be perfect.

It simply needs enough shape for the unconscious mind to recognise that life still has a rhythm.

Small routines often create the biggest sense of calm.

Can hypnotherapy help with school holiday stress?

One of the biggest misconceptions about hypnotherapy is that it's only for people with severe anxiety or long-standing problems.

In reality, hypnotherapy can be incredibly effective whenever life feels overwhelming or out of balance.

Rather than teaching you to ignore stress, hypnotherapy helps you respond to it differently.

It helps quieten the constant mental chatter that keeps the unconscious mind on high alert.

It helps you feel calmer, think more clearly, and respond rather than react.

Many of the parents I work with tell me they don't actually want the school holidays to be different.

They simply want to enjoy them more.

They want to feel calmer when plans change.

More patient when the children argue.

Less guilty when they need five minutes to themselves.

And more present during the moments that really matter.

If you're looking for support with anxiety, overwhelm or stress, you can also find out more about my Anxiety Hypnotherapy services here .

If this article has resonated with you, perhaps it's because you've recognised that you're not failing, your unconscious mind is simply responding to change in the way it was designed to.

Hypnotherapy can help you understand those patterns, develop greater emotional resilience, and feel calmer and more in control, whether you're navigating the school holidays, anxiety, a major life change, or simply finding it difficult to switch off.

You're always welcome to book a free, no-obligation consultation. Together, we'll explore what's been keeping your mind on high alert and how you can begin to find your anchor again.

If you've found yourself nodding along while reading this article, you may still have a few questions. That's completely understandable.

Below are some of the questions I'm asked most often, both about why the school holidays can feel surprisingly stressful and about how clinical hypnotherapy can help you feel calmer, more confident and more in control.

Whether you're completely new to hypnotherapy or simply curious about how it works, I hope these answers help.

Frequently asked questions about school holiday stress

Why do the school holidays feel so stressful?

The school holidays often remove the routine that both adults and children have relied on throughout the school year. When that familiar rhythm changes, the unconscious mind loses some of the predictability that helps it feel safe. It's completely normal to feel more emotionally and mentally stretched while everyone adjusts to a new routine.

Why does the unconscious mind like routine so much?

The unconscious mind isn't attached to routine because it likes rules. It likes routine because routine creates predictability. Predictability creates certainty, and certainty creates a feeling of safety. That's why even small daily routines can have such a positive effect on emotional wellbeing, especially during times of change.

Why do children behave differently during the school holidays?

Children rely on routine just as much as adults do. During the holidays they've lost the familiar structure of school, friends and daily activities. Many children express this uncertainty through changes in behaviour, frustration or heightened emotions while they adapt to their new routine.

Why do I lose my patience during the school holidays?

When your usual routine disappears, your unconscious mind has to work harder to process change and uncertainty. At the same time, you're making more decisions, juggling more responsibilities and often trying to keep everyone happy. It's no surprise that patience can sometimes wear a little thinner. It doesn't mean you're failing. It simply means your mind is working harder to adapt.

Is it normal to feel overwhelmed during the school holidays?

Absolutely. Many parents, carers and grandparents find the school holidays more challenging than they expected. You can love spending time with your children and still find six weeks of disrupted routine mentally and emotionally demanding. Those two feelings can comfortably exist together.

Can a lack of routine make anxiety worse?

Yes. Changes in routine can increase feelings of uncertainty, particularly if you're already prone to anxiety. Creating a gentle rhythm to your day can help your unconscious mind feel more settled without making the holidays feel overly structured.

Frequently asked questions about clinical hypnotherapy

What is clinical hypnotherapy?

Clinical hypnotherapy is a gentle, evidence informed therapy that uses focused attention and guided relaxation to help you work with your unconscious mind. It can help you change unhelpful thought patterns, habits and emotional responses so you feel calmer, more confident and more in control.

How does clinical hypnotherapy work?

Clinical hypnotherapy helps the conscious and unconscious mind communicate more effectively. During hypnosis, your attention becomes more focused, making it easier to develop healthier ways of thinking, feeling and responding to life's challenges.

Does hypnotherapy really work for anxiety?

For many people, yes. There is a growing body of research supporting the use of hypnotherapy for anxiety and stress related conditions. By working with the unconscious mind, hypnotherapy can help reduce unhelpful thought patterns, improve emotional resilience and create lasting positive change. Results vary from person to person, which is why every treatment plan is tailored to your individual needs.

Will I lose control during hypnosis?

No. You remain aware throughout the session and cannot be made to do anything against your wishes. Clinical hypnotherapy is very different from stage hypnosis, where the aim is entertainment rather than therapy.

Is clinical hypnotherapy the same as stage hypnosis?

No. Stage hypnosis is designed to entertain an audience. Clinical hypnotherapy is a professional therapeutic approach used to help people overcome issues such as anxiety, stress, fears, habits and low confidence. The focus is always on helping you achieve your goals in a safe and supportive environment.

What does hypnosis feel like?

Most people describe hypnosis as feeling deeply relaxed, rather like becoming absorbed in a good book or daydream. You'll usually hear everything that's being said, remain aware of your surroundings and remember the session afterwards.

Can everyone be hypnotised?

Most people can experience hypnosis if they want to and are willing to engage with the process. It's a natural state of focused attention that most of us drift in and out of every day without even realising it.

Is hypnotherapy scientifically proven?

There is a growing body of scientific research supporting hypnotherapy for a range of conditions, including anxiety, stress, IBS, pain management and habit change. Like any therapy, results vary from person to person, but many people experience significant and lasting benefits.

How many hypnotherapy sessions will I need?

The number of sessions depends on what you'd like help with. Some people achieve their goals in just a few sessions, while others benefit from a longer programme. During your free consultation, we'll discuss your goals and recommend the approach that's most appropriate for you.

How do I know if clinical hypnotherapy is right for me?

With over 20 years' experience as a therapist, and the last three years specialising in clinical hypnotherapy, I've learnt that one of the biggest barriers isn't whether hypnotherapy works. It's simply not knowing what to expect. That's why every consultation begins with a relaxed conversation. I'll explain how hypnotherapy works, answer any questions you have and make sure you feel completely at ease before we begin, so you can decide whether it's the right approach for you.

Author: Lesley Ford, Clinical Hypnotherapist

Last reviewed: 9 July 2026