It's been a stressful morning.

The phone hasn't stopped ringing, you've got a list of things to do as long as your arm, and somebody has just added another job to it.

So what do you do?

If you're a smoker, you might decide it's time for a cigarette.

You step outside, light up, take a deep breath and within a few moments you begin to feel better.

Ahhh. That's better.

But here's something I'd like you to think about.

If that cigarette really helped you relax, why will you need another one later?

And another after that?

It's an interesting question, isn't it?

Why does smoking make you feel relaxed?

Smoking can create a temporary feeling of relaxation because nicotine briefly stimulates the brain's reward system and relieves nicotine withdrawal symptoms.

However, that relief doesn't last, which is one reason smokers often find themselves wanting another cigarette.

As nicotine levels begin to fall, you may start feeling restless, irritable, tense or anxious.

Your brain recognises those uncomfortable feelings and remembers what made them disappear last time.

Another cigarette!

So you light up, the discomfort temporarily settles, and your mind concludes that smoking helps you feel better.

But is it really helping you relax, or is it temporarily relieving a problem that nicotine dependence has helped create?

Does nicotine increase stress and anxiety?

Yes. Nicotine is a stimulant that activates the sympathetic nervous system, which is involved in your body's fight or flight response. It can increase your heart rate, raise your blood pressure and stimulate the release of adrenaline.

In other words, while you're thinking that cigarette is helping you calm down, nicotine is actually stimulating your body!

Rather ironic, isn't it?

And then there's the ongoing cycle of withdrawal.

As nicotine wears off, uncomfortable feelings can return. You smoke again, those feelings temporarily disappear, and your brain learns that cigarettes are the answer.

It's a little like someone repeatedly ringing your doorbell and then expecting you to thank them when they finally stop!

And research has found people who stop smoking generally experience improvements in anxiety, stress and mood once they've moved through the withdrawal period.

So what if the cigarette you've been relying on to manage your stress has actually been contributing to it?

Why do I feel calmer after a cigarette?

Feeling calmer after smoking can be partly due to relief from nicotine withdrawal. But there's another possible reason that often gets overlooked.

Think about what happens when somebody takes a cigarette break.

They stop working.

They step away from whatever they're doing.

Perhaps they go outside, chat to a colleague or simply enjoy a few minutes to themselves.

They might take some slower breaths.

And for a little while, nobody is asking them to do anything.

Now, doesn't that sound rather relaxing?

But here's my question.

How much of that feeling comes from the cigarette, and how much comes from simply taking a break?

If you're allowing yourself five minutes away from the demands of the day, that pause can be valuable in its own right.

And you don't need a cigarette to give yourself permission to have one!

You can still step outside.

You can still enjoy a few minutes of peace.

You can still make yourself a cup of tea.

The break doesn't have to disappear just because the cigarette does.

Why do I crave cigarettes when I'm stressed?

Stress can trigger smoking cravings because your brain may have learned to associate cigarettes with relief, comfort or taking a break. Nicotine withdrawal can also contribute to feelings of tension, making the urge to smoke feel more persuasive.

Our brains are rather clever at learning routines.

Think about the situations where someone might automatically reach for a cigarette.

That first cup of coffee in the morning.

Getting into the car.

Finishing dinner.

Having a drink with friends.

Or perhaps experiencing a particularly stressful day.

When you've repeated the same behaviour hundreds or even thousands of times, your brain begins to associate certain situations with smoking.

Eventually, the connection can feel so familiar that reaching for a cigarette happens almost automatically.

Your conscious mind might be saying, "I don't want to smoke anymore."

But your unconscious mind recognises the familiar situation and responds with the behaviour it has learned.

That doesn't mean the behaviour is permanent.

It means there's an established pattern that can be changed.

I explain more about how this happens in my blog Why do habits become automatic? How your mind learns routines and reactions.

Why is it so hard to quit smoking?

Quitting smoking can be difficult because nicotine creates physical dependence, while everyday routines and emotional associations can create additional triggers.

And sometimes it's those familiar situations that catch people by surprise.

Perhaps you've stopped smoking before.

You managed a few days, weeks or even months.

And then something happened.

You went on holiday.

You attended a party.

You had a particularly difficult day.

Or a friend offered you a cigarette and said those famous words:

"Go on, just have one. It won't hurt!"

And suddenly, that old association reappeared.

The physical withdrawal may have settled, but the situations you previously associated with smoking can still remind you of the habit.

And when life becomes stressful, familiar behaviours can sometimes feel particularly appealing.

I've written more about this in Why habits feel harder during stressful periods.

But here's something I regularly explain to clients.

Thoughts are not commands.

Just because the thought of having a cigarette appears doesn't mean you have to act on it.

You can notice a craving without automatically responding to it.

And although cravings can feel uncomfortable, they do pass.

If you've stopped smoking before and started again, that experience can also teach you something useful about the situations where you might benefit from extra support.

It's not necessarily about having more willpower.

Sometimes it's about recognising what your mind has learned and developing a different response.

What happens to anxiety when you stop smoking?

Although anxiety and irritability can temporarily increase during nicotine withdrawal, research shows that stopping smoking is generally associated with reduced anxiety, stress and depression over time.

Now, that might surprise people who have relied on cigarettes to help them cope with difficult moments.

They may worry that without smoking they'll become more anxious.

But remember that cycle we discussed earlier?

Nicotine levels fall.

Uncomfortable feelings appear.

You smoke.

The feelings temporarily settle.

And the cycle begins again.

When nicotine dependence is broken, that repeated withdrawal cycle no longer needs to be managed throughout the day.

Of course, stopping smoking doesn't mean every stressful situation in life suddenly disappears!

There will still be frustrating days, difficult conversations and occasions when things don't go according to plan.

But you can develop other ways of responding to those moments without automatically reaching for a cigarette.

And perhaps there's another way to look at stopping smoking.

Rather than concentrating on what you're giving up, what if you began thinking about what you're gaining?

More freedom.

More choice.

And the opportunity to enjoy your everyday life without organising it around cigarettes.

This is something I explore in another article, You're not giving anything up, you're returning to being a non-smoker.

Can hypnotherapy help you stop smoking?

Hypnotherapy is an approach some people choose to help address the learned habits, associations and emotional responses connected with smoking.

When I work with clients who want to return to being non-smokers, I look beyond the cigarettes themselves.

We work with the habits, routines and associations that may have developed over time.

And because returning to being a non-smoker isn't simply about putting out that last cigarette, my stop smoking hypnotherapy programme includes three personalised sessions.

Session one focuses on returning you to stop smoking and begin living as a non-smoker once again.

Sessions two and three focus on reinforcing that change and working through situations that might otherwise bring back familiar smoking responses.

Perhaps it's going on holiday.

Attending a wedding or party.

Having a particularly stressful day.

Or knowing how you want to respond when somebody says, "Go on, just have one!"

My clients also receive a backup hypnosis audio for additional reinforcement between and after their sessions.

The complete three session programme costs £345.

You can find out more about my stop smoking hypnotherapy programme in Cheltenham and online.

It's also worth remembering that NHS Stop Smoking Services, nicotine replacement therapy and prescribed stop smoking medications are available to help people manage nicotine dependence.

How can I stop smoking during Stoptober?

Stoptober is an opportunity to begin changing your relationship with cigarettes, but you don't have to rely on willpower alone.

Understanding your smoking triggers, preparing for situations where you would normally smoke and accessing appropriate support can all be useful.

And you certainly don't have to get everything perfect from day one.

Perhaps you've already stopped smoking.

Perhaps you're thinking about it.

Or perhaps you've stopped before and started again.

Whatever your experience, you can begin by looking at what smoking has become associated with in your life.

Is it stress?

Boredom?

Taking a break?

Socialising?

Or simply something you've done for so long that it feels automatic?

Because once you understand those connections, you can begin considering how you'd like to respond differently.

And here's a final thought.

What if you could keep all those little moments you enjoy without needing the cigarette that used to accompany them?

Your morning coffee.

Your holidays.

Your evenings with friends.

Those precious few minutes to yourself.

They can all still be part of your life.

And perhaps one day, when somebody offers you a cigarette, your answer will simply be:

"No thanks. I don't smoke."

No lengthy explanation.

No internal debate.

Just a decision that feels right for you.

Frequently asked questions about smoking, nicotine and stress

Does smoking actually help with anxiety?

Smoking may temporarily relieve anxiety associated with nicotine withdrawal, but nicotine dependence can contribute to an ongoing cycle of tension and cravings. People who stop smoking generally experience improvements in anxiety and mood after withdrawal.

How long do nicotine cravings last when you stop smoking?

Individual cravings often last only a few minutes, although their frequency and intensity vary. Withdrawal symptoms are usually strongest during the first few days and tend to ease over the following weeks. Occasional cravings triggered by familiar situations may continue for longer.

Can I stop smoking without becoming more stressed?

Some people experience temporary stress and irritability during withdrawal. Planning alternative ways to relax and using appropriate stop smoking support such as hypnotherapy can make this period easier to manage.

Why do I still want a cigarette after I've stopped smoking?

Familiar situations, routines and emotional triggers can still activate learned smoking associations, even after physical withdrawal symptoms have eased. Recognising those triggers can help you prepare different responses.

Ready to explore becoming a non-smoker?

If you're thinking about stopping smoking and would like to explore how hypnotherapy might support you, I offer a free 45 minute consultation.

We can discuss your smoking habits, the situations where cigarettes have become part of your routine and how my three session programme works.

There's no obligation to book treatment.

Book your free 45 minute consultation here.

I'm Lesley Ford, a clinical hypnotherapist based in Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, working online with clients throughout the UK.